It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends
by loquaciouslauryn
Summary: Set in season 4 after the wedding hook up, Blaine is struggling with Kurt leading him on. Fic includes the song "It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends" by Bright Eyes. Includes Blangst, but just as much fluff. Rated M for language and adult themes.


AN: This is set in a time after Will &amp; Emma's wedding, after Klaine had hooked up and Kurt is demanding they are just friends. For some reason, Kurt is still home in Lima. The song I used is "It's Cool, We Can Still Be Friends" by Bright Eyes. I changed the lyrics slightly. I do not own the song, as Bright Eyes and its' respective people do. I strongly recommend listening to the song before reading the fic, as the emotion of the song will really enhance the effect of the fic.

With that said, I have no idea why I'm still writing Klaine fanfiction, but I guess you'll get to enjoy it anyway.

"I should really go, Blaine." Kurt said, standing up from the recliner. Blaine sat up, now sitting couch. Kurt stretched out his arms high to the sky, waking up his muscles from the rest they had during their movie marathon. His McKinley t-shirt rode up slightly, giving Blaine a view of his stomach.

"Are you sure you can't stay the night?" Blaine asked, reluctantly tearing his eyes from Kurt to his watch. It was 2 a.m.

"I really can't. My flight leaves at 11 tomorrow morning and I stayed last night anyway," Blaine pursed his lips.

"Okay," He said. "I'll walk you out."

Kurt grabbed his car keys off the end table by the door and turned back to Blaine.

"Thank you for having me," Kurt smiled, before planting a small kiss on Blaine's cheek. The smaller boy blushed and smiled. He missed Kurt's lips. Kurt stepped out the door, shutting it quietly behind him.

Blaine sighed. He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he made his way back to the den where they had just been. He sat down on the chair where Kurt was just a few minutes ago, the black leather still warm with his scent. This was all too overwhelming for Blaine and the tears he tried to hold back began to flood. His palms pressed into his eyes and his heart felt heavy in his chest.

His world without Kurt felt gray. Every day flew over his head, Blaine in a haze of loss, loneliness and self-hatred. He blew the best thing he ever had and once clear skies turned to never ending storms. When Kurt came back in for the wedding, the two had reconnected, hell, even hooked up. The sky had suddenly cleared, and Blaine felt at home again. Kurt still claimed that everything was done in the context of "just friends" and nothing more. Just thinking about it made Blaine's stomach knot.

All of these thoughts swirled in Blaine's brain and in a cloud of emotions, he walked over to the corner of the room to grab his guitar. He returned to his original spot on the couch and started finger picking a simple and light melody, a melancholy tune he had written for lyrics just a few days ago. So wrapped up in his thoughts, he hadn't heard the front door open.

_Yeah you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek._

_Yeah you still kiss me, but it's just on the cheek._

_Yeah, you still kiss me sometimes, but it's just on the cheek_

_You pull away so easily._

Kurt walked back into the den, Blaine's back turned to him. Kurt had never heard him sing this one, so he assumed it must be new.

_And I still call you, but I get your machine_

_Yeah I still call you, but I get your machine_

_And if I'm lucky I guess, I get your roommate answering_

_But you're at the bar, not with me._

_And we go to dinner, but you won't hold my hand._

_We sit at the same table, but we don't play with our feet_

_Yeah, we still go to dinner sometimes, but we don't sneak a kiss_

_When the waitress turns around._

Kurt swallowed, despite the lump in his throat. Blaine's singing about him. Singing about the events of the past week.

_And we still watch movies, but we don't share the couch._

_And we still rent movies, but we don't share the couch._

_Yeah, we still watch movies sometimes, but you don't lay in my lap_

_The plot is slow, take a nap._

Kurt bit his lip at the way Blaine's voice wavered in the last verse. He didn't have to look at his face to know that he was crying.

_And you even stay over, but now we stay in our clothes_

_Yeah, you'll even sleep over, but now we stay in our clothes_

_Yeah, you even sleep over sometimes, but we stay in our clothes_

_I'm only there so you're not alone._

_And you say that I hurt you, in a voice like a prayer_

_Yeah, you say that I hurt you, and your voice is like a prayer_

_Yeah, well maybe I hurt you sometimes, but let's contrast and compare_

_Lift up your shirt, the wound isn't there._

Kurt's heart sank. God, he didn't mean to hurt Blaine. He knew Blaine cheated because he was lonely and felt hurt, but hearing it like this made Kurt want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Even though Kurt had gotten the most of it, Blaine was the one hurt in the first place.

_I guess that you're truth, is just the ghost of your lies._

_I guess your kind of truth, is just the ghost of your lies._

_Yeah, your kind of truth darling, is just the ghost of your lies._

_I see through them all the time._

Blaine's voice grew loud going into the last verse. His tears were heard in his shaky lyrics, the song filled with so much emotion that Kurt could feel his heart breaking all over again.

_So I'm pouring some whiskey, I'm gonna get drunk._

_I'm pouring myself some whiskey, I'm gonna get real fucking drunk_

_I'm pouring myself some whiskey right now, I'm gonna get so so drunk_

_That I pass out, forget your face, by the time I wake up._

With the ring of the final note, Blaine let out a heaving sob. He tossed his guitar to the side and buried his face in his hands, not caring that his loud heaves of pain were echoing through the sleeping house. All of this hurt so much. Kurt was so close, touching him, flirting with him, even being intimate with him. He knew fooling around with Kurt would hurt him, but the touch was craved so much that he couldn't resist. Dreams of feeling his ex-boyfriend's finger tips back on his body haunted him, the impression of his lips felt permanent on his own and his heavenly laugh played on loop in his mind all of the time. He needed to have it.

"I really need some whiskey." Blaine mumbled. He wiped fresh tears from his eyes and stood up. As he turned around, he jumped in shock, absolutely surprised to see Kurt there. Caught up in his emotions, Blaine hadn't even heard him re-enter the house.

Kurt stood before him, the dim lights of the den bouncing off his cheeks, clearly flushed with his own tears.

"I'm sorry, I realized when I got to the end of the block that I left my jacket here and I need it for when I go back to New York. I heard you singing after I got my jacket and I walked in to listen," Kurt explained.

"Oh." There was a moment of silence.

"Did you write that song?"

"Yeah." Another pause.

"Is that how you really feel?" Kurt asked, his voice cracking in a whisper.

Blaine just nodded, tears falling rapidly from his eyes. Kurt threw his coat on the ground, something he NEVER did, and ran to hold Blaine in his arms. He rubbed the shorter boy's curls that fell loose from his gel as he sobbed. Kurt cried too, but silently.

He missed Blaine. God, did his miss Blaine. He missed his songs and his voice and his persistent and consistent optimism. He missed his lips and his finger tips and he even missed his hair gel a little bit. And yeah, he let himself get carried away at the wedding with Blaine, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't mean to hurt him, not like this.

"I'm so sorry," Kurt whispered into Blaine's neck. He moved away from the hug, his eyes bloodshot. The bags under Blaine's his eyes told that this wasn't the first time he had cried over him like this.

"Don't apologize, Kurt. It's cool we can still be friends. Just friends." Blaine smiled sadly. "Friends" was certainly better than nothing.

"Blaine…"

"Being friends is more than I can ask of you. You don't even owe that to me, but you gave it anyway. Look, Kurt, I know I screwed up. I screwed up everything and I don't know why, I don't know why I did what I did. I was lonely and I was hurt and I missed you and I regret it so much and I am so sorry and I just want you to know…"

"Blaine, stop." Kurt interrupted. Blaine immediately shut his mouth.

"You've said you're sorry a million times. But I know this really hurt you and it's my turn to apologize," Kurt explained. Blaine's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"You're my best friend, Blaine. Yeah, you screwed up, but I did too. I shouldn't have led you on like that, not for my own needs. That was really low of me," Kurt said. "And I'm really sorry."

Blaine paused for a minute, contemplating if he should say what he wanted to in the moment. He wanted this to mean something. He wouldn't believe for a second that Kurt would have his way with him and walk away.

"Kurt," he said.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that none of this meant anything to you. None of the making out, the hook up at the wedding, tell me it meant nothing," Blaine demanded.

Kurt kept his eyes to the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks. He had been doing so well with holding back, but this was too much. He looked back at Blaine, their eyes locked. It took a minute for the words to even roll off of man's lips.

"I can't."

Silence fell between them. Kurt glued his eyes to the floor and Blaine stood there, staring in shock.

"Oh."

Kurt stepped in closer to his ex and grabbed his hands.

"I know that I keep saying that we're just friends, Blaine, and when I left New York to come home, I actually believed we would be, but then I saw you. I saw you and _God_, everything came flooding back. I knew in an instant I still had feelings for you,"

Blaine gasped. His mouth remained open slightly in shock.

"I can't say it didn't mean anything to me because it meant everything to me. And more. I'm honestly just scared to admit it because I'm still healing and I'm so afraid of getting hurt again." Kurt cried.

Blaine squeezed Kurt's hands and smiled sadly, tears swirling in his eyes.

"Kurt, you have to believe me when I say I am never going to hurt you again like that. Never. I know I messed up, and I immediately regretted it and the guilt is killing me. I can't stand to be apart from you. I love you so much, Kurt, and even if friends is all that we could ever be, I'd take it in a second because I can't stand not having you in my life."

Kurt smiled and pulled Blaine into his chest, hugging him like it would be the last embrace he'd ever have in his life.

"I love you, too." He whispered. He pulled out of the hug.

"And I'm trying so hard to forgive you, I really am. I haven't fully forgiven you yet, but I can't stand not having you. I know that when I go back to New York you're going to be the only person on my mind. I don't care about Adam, I don't want anyone else. I just want you."

"What does this mean for us?" Blaine asked after letting Kurt's words really sink in.

"I don't know." Kurt said.

Blaine sighed.

"I really miss you, Kurt."

Kurt let his eyes drift to Blaine's guitar and then back to Blaine. The healing process had been hard, and it wasn't over yet, but he had come a long way. Maybe the rest of the healing process came with Blaine, with healing together and moving on into the future.

"I miss you too. And I think maybe we should just stop missing each other and try again."

Blaine grinned. He instantly smashed his lips on to Kurt's, the kiss desperate with want and filled with gratitude and love. Kurt pulled the younger boy's hips towards him to bring them closer together.

"I love you so much," Blaine said against his mouth. He put his hands on his shoulders, pushing away a little bit further from his boyfriend's face.

"I promise, Kurt, I promise that I'm never going to hurt you like that again,"

Kurt smiled.

The two stood there for what could've been minutes, staring at each other, soaking up the fact that they were each other's and only each other's once more.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked, breaking the first silence of the night that wasn't awkward.

"Yes?"

"Does this mean you'll stay the night?"

Kurt laughed.

"I guess one more night wouldn't kill anybody,"

Blaine giggled and curled his hands into fists with happiness, the biggest smile on his face. He took Kurt's hand, (_God, how he missed having Kurt's fingers in his_), and led him up to his bedroom. Blaine had already been in pajama pants, but noticing Kurt was still wearing jeans, he tossed him a plaid pair to change into. The two crawled into Blaine's bed, the taller boy wrapping his arms around the other's chest.

"I've missed this," Blaine said, smiling. Kurt let his lips plant a small kiss on the little spoon's neck.

"Me too,"

A few quiet minutes passed before Blaine spoke again.

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Blaine."

"Always?"

"Always."


End file.
